When Red Flags were always Present, but Our Relationship Void Made them Green!
Recently, the world was flooded by the Tale of the Failed Relationship of a young lady who calls her ex-husband, “Legion.” A failure to stop at the red flags caused her to proceed into Harm’s Way and end at Devastation Avenue! After nearly 8 hours and over 50 videos, a young lady pours out her heart to ask the question, “Why did I get married?” We will leave the expletive out that was used, but there is even a story to tell in the omitted word for where we can go in our conduct, when we feel that we have been played!
Literally, millions have viewed this young lady’s TikTok reels! What exactly do the viewers resonate with concerning the story? As we delve into the reasoning, keep in mind of the pulse of the Divine Design Blog. It is to consciously keep us mindful of the Art of Divine Living. Speaking to living out the essence and attributes of God in our everyday.
This read will cause us to pull the bandage off concerning what we give and what we take back from God. We will need to be painfully honest with ourselves. We say that we trust God with our lives, but when a fine specimen comes nigh our dwelling, we take the guiding away from God, the One who is all-knowing, to lead ourselves in partaking in the relationship. The very relationship that will need Him at the Center to triumph has placed Him in the backseat, as you and the love interest cruise in the sunset. Remember, bandage off because healing is necessary.
The young lady admitted that there were Red Flags from the onset. As Believers in Christ, we must understand how dire the decision is to the purpose and calling on our lives. Who God allows you to yoke up with cannot simply be about butterflies. That relationship will experience growth spurts and growth pains.
If we are not properly prepared to run the race that is ahead, we will skimp on the essential parts for the forward movement of the relationship. For every Red Flag we choose to ignore; we create a Colorblind Flag to travel to a place the Enemy designed, to bring us to an Unexpected End. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an EXPECTED END.” When God’s Green Flag is waived, it gives us the assurance and grace to go forth.
If we are honest, stories of betrayal in relationships are relatable, because we can remember “when.” We can remember when we were on the receiving end of what we did not think we deserved. However, we do not read these stories from the vantage point of assessing why we picked up the “hitchhiker”- the one allowed access to hitch themselves to us, with no approval from Heaven to even stop the car!
Allow me to bring to the stand what never gets the limelight when describing the car. The Glove Compartment, the place that once held the driving gloves, hence the name. The gloves that were protective in nature. What it is now known for and what is now housed there is the Registration. Who the vehicle belongs to. The One who holds the responsibility and ownership.
There are No Test Drives for a vehicle owned by God! Did you know that there are moments where people have custom cars and never got in them until it is purchased and delivered to drive? They did not have to go back to the Dealer for a test drive, because they already knew the value! When we become colorblind to Red Flags, we devalue the Green Flags and settle for something the Owner never intended for us to proceed with.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”-1 Corinthians 13:4-7 It is not just a passage of scripture for the wedding invitation. It is engraved on the heart. It is the fabric contents of the Green Flag. It is our map to finish this cross-country life excursion as a union. As beautiful as love is…it gets to our disfigurement. Those horrid places that magnify our fight to keep our independence and Will to be right!
I close with a collision of truth that until this day, still grips my heart! I remember being in a relationship that started off with me adhering to the driving rules, and then an anxiousness to get to Marriage Boulevard started having me remove the Instruction Book from the Glove Compartment.
The painstaking truth is… I changed the Name of the Owner to me! Green Flags quickly turned into glaring Red Flags! A vehicle once purchased with a price no human could pay; no longer road the same! No longer had the performance that was in line for what was ransomed! I became that broken down vehicle that once had an Owner who never missed caring for me and keeping me in Mint Condition to caring for myself and missing every Recall Message!
The exchange with the Owner:
Me: “God, I’m hurting because he cheated.
The Owner: “Before he cheated on you- you cheated on Me!”
*There is No Red Flag choosing worth getting that response from the One who manufactured you for His Glory!
Divine Work & Pray:
Work: Jot down in your journal times you have overlooked Red Flags and became colorblind to the impact they have had on your life. Write out some Green Flags you have had in relationships and where they have taken you.
Pray: To the Lover of my soul. The One who loved me when I did not properly know how to love. Forgive me for taking the wheel and buying the synthetic message that made you a “Co-pilot”; You should have never been placed in the passenger seat. I want you to get Glory out of my relationship, because there is no reaching full potential absent of You. The whole and complete work that you do will be ever present in our lives. What You have for us has always been Worth the Wait! It speaks to the loving care and refinement that takes place when we abide in You. May You always be found as the sole Owner on the Registration of our lives! In the Name of Jesus. Amen..
